Thursday, April 28, 2011

Nightmare of the Headless Chicken from Uranus

I'm running through a dark forest. A dull noise echos through the damp, foggy air. It's a noise I know, yet can't place. The shapes of trees pass by in my peripheral vision, the leaves crunching below my feet. The noise gets louder. Louder. What is that? I know not why I run, but I am sure it is to get away from the haunting, incessant cluck. That's it! It's a cluck!

Cluck....

Cluck....

Cluck....

I reach a clearing and stop running. The fog lifts revealing a stump. I recognize this particular stump. I salvaged it from the neighbor's pine tree a few years back. Imbedded in the stump is an ax. A bloody ax.

Cluck...

Cluck...

Cluck...

From my right comes rustling of leaves. "Who's there?" I cry in a feeble voice. I quickly realize how weak that sounded and muster a "WHO'S THERE?" Suddenly I know what is there. I am sure I knew all along.

It's Penny.

The headless chicken.

I wake up...

I knew when I purchased my chickens that one day would bring the need to slaughter them. I'm pretty sure the above scenario won't happen. I mean, I've had to have pets put down before. I've had to deal with the occasional bird or lizard that the cat did not finish off. It's the same thing, right?

If anyone wants to share about their first time, please do. First time slaughtering, I mean. Get your mind out of the gutter people!

For more info on us, click Arizona homestead and homeschool.

For more info on how I titled this post, click here. If you dare!

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAH!

3 comments:

Simple Summit said...

LOL - loved the link :)

No horror stories for me to tell... yet :)

Great Post!

Joy said...

You will survive the first time. I promise!! Yes, it is gruesome and gross, but it isn't THAT bad. Just keep thinking about all that great fresh meat that you will have!! :)

Cynthia said...

I am on my way to your house with posters that say "Save Penny" and I plan to camp out until you all become vegetarians.

If you didn't eat meat then you wouldn't have to kill your pets!

Just joking, bro. I get it. Penny understands the cycle of life more than we can since she has no perception of herself outside instinct. It's all good.